More Than A Mum – 3 –
It’s been a week of hormones, stress, partying & football – and that’s just everyone else in my household ….
So after mentioning the feel good hairdresser effect last blog, I realised it was time to book …. not just me but 3 of us. Wow. What a difference. My eldest hasn’t had a haircut since pre-lockdown 1 and has a lion’s mane that was tamed by her visit.
After a week of her pre piano exam stress, her sibling irritations, let alone our crossed words about the inability to plan ahead, I had faith that the ritual of hair wash & head massage might do the trick in restoring calm – am I the only one who has the ability to fall asleep at the hair-dressers sitting upright?
The taming of girls - this often came up in my coaching training and I suddenly remembered reading ‘Opera, The Undoing of Women’ in the 80’s which highlighted the negative images of women in Opera. So I was excited to read that the Boston Lyric Opera produced a 2018/19 season version (in English) of The Handmaid’s Tale. I’ve just binge watched series 4 so I must see if I can find this - not that I’m a huge opera fan, more just curious at how they've turned this into an English speaking opera and how opera is addressing the accusations of misogyny levelled at it and how it is supporting the #MeToo movement.
I often think I should stop myself saying ‘calm down, quieten down’ to my girls but then another part of me thinks – we all need to live side by side and appreciate others around us and maybe it’s just that we should be saying quieten down to the everyone a little more too … (will this upset readers?) Would it stop some of the less loveable behaviours if we encouraged calmness and mindfulness from an early age across all genders? I used music and massage to calm my children when they were babies and toddlers. When I created my Club NRG kids club (age 8-13) I had them do ‘yoga and thought’ after throwing themselves around for an hour - with huge success.
Or do I just keep encouraging my girls to be a bit louder than I was at that age, a lot more self-assured and situationally aware – I definitely attempt to encourage them to stay safe but with how much success who knows!
Which moves me onto how much it scares me when I hear about the explicit sexual conversations being had on social media by the teens and the expectations and demands. I hear about this in my work with teens so much but that’s for another blog.
Post hairdresser, I am financially drained – as the youngest announces she wants highlights in future (yay birthday present sorted!) … and I start the loan applications for Uni - shall I just take a second mortgage on the house now as English tertiary education with no government financial support is eye watering – why are things so fundamentally different? It does make me wonder that if with all these differences between England & Scotland, are we surprised there is no unity across the country when we do things so differently …. ?
Oh and shall I say how cross I am watching all the football partying whilst our young people couldn't have their proper end of term / year events …..
Is this just all my hormones turning me into a grumpy old woman? Or is it real dissatisfaction? I’m seriously thinking the latter – so much so that I signed up to attend an info session on ‘How To Be An Independent Councillor’ – well that would be entertaining wouldn't it – anyone remember the programme years ago with the actress who played Bubbles from Ab Fab as a supermarket assistant becoming Prime Minister by accident really? Hilarious! I think I could do better. I think many of us could and wouldn’t it be absolutely fabulous if we could encourage a political system based on collaboration, ethical and conscious capitalism and just perhaps supporting the citizens of / and our country?
So my strategy for dealing with all this – a beach hut. Last year I booked a beach hut night at Edi Uni summer outdoor offerings – I hope they are back this year.
In my head I often visualise myself running along my favourite beach and imagine being there when all this is over.
It gives me a sense of calm and happiness amongst the chaos. My favourite poem is ‘IF’ and one of my amazing clients gave me a canvas print of it in Transform’s purple – I frequently recite to myself the first line
“If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you” – essentially that’s my mantra when I’m faced with meltdowns over missing items (that are generally where they should be or in the bin), disagreements on times to be home by, why someone should put someone else’s dishes in the washing machine …. I’m sure Rudyard Kipling didn’t have these issues to face and maybe his were more interesting, but nonetheless it works.
In amongst all this inane nonsense this week – I produced my first Magbook
“the knowledge of a book condensed into the ease of a magazine. A focussed and fast read for those short on time" – I’m staggered that I managed to get it done in time with all the extra’s that have been going on. Did I mention we have to drive to York for a driving test theory exam as getting one in Scotland pre Uni term time is like trying to get Scotland to win a Euro match .....
It all reminds me that whilst I love them all dearly, I am more than a mum, I love what I do and I want them to be inspired by me to be independent women who love what they do. Yes I am aiming high to have a beach hut for my retirement (or even a pop up tent with bubbly for post runs) but in the meantime a Brighton beach hut whilst we get the eldest sorted to live there will do me fine as I sense the end of term cracks just starting to appear.
Who needs an overseas holiday after 2 years?…..