Updated: Jun 9
More Than A Mum …..
My kids always said we should be one of these tv reality shows / you tube families showing what it’s like to be a blended family – I always said yeuch no thanks – people arguing for the joy of the producers and having their lives displayed in public is my idea of hell.
So I find it very funny that I am using our last Sunday morning family situation as an intro to my new weekly ‘More than A Mum’ blog entry but it kind of epitomises the situation and just might sound familiar, provide some light relief for others and ofcourse it’s cathartic for me.
Don’t get me wrong – not all our Sunday mornings are like this – it just kind of sums up and symbolises coming out of 14 months of Covid life nicely.
I get up early to find my stepdaughter asleep on the sofa after a birthday party (Covid safe & outdoors) , and oh there’s obvious vomit remnants in the downstairs loo. My OH is sound asleep having not come to bed until 2.20am (late due to cooking carbs for the party girl) waking me up in the process (not intentionally but after 18 years of listening out for children my ears are a-tuned).
I sneak out to do my new fitness challenge – I’m a mum on a mission – at 53 years old with my kids all getting ready to fly the nest – I’ve decided it’s my time again and I’m aiming to hone my six pack in new ways!
I go to the shops to replace the cider that my eldest bought (actually I did) for her first foray up north on her own. This should have been 6th year Aya Napa – but thanks to Covid I have the joy of worrying about river currents and the drive up by a fellow teen rather than the first solo airline flight and handsome Cypriot lads!
So I borrowed the cider for the youngest who had a very booming karaoke blast until midnight with her best friend in another room - and I was deemed bad mum for forgetting to buy earlier whilst they were out having their jolly dinner cooked for them in an Asian restaurant, whilst I worked, shopped and cooked for the rest of us.
This ‘borrowing’ was met by acute exasperation by aforementioned eldest – why should she have it – can’t I just go and buy her something now. – NO I’M TIRED IT’S 8.30PM AND I WANT SOME CHILL TIME!!!! I slightly lost the rag at the selfishness. Especially as I’d spent 10 minutes looking for her much needed special pyjamas which I’d apparently lost in the washing but then turned up stuffed down the back of the bed pillows.
I promised I would be in Tesco by 10am and home ready for her pick up at 10.15 (re-negotiated from 10am to fit our archaic alcohol sales laws). As I approach the driveway the specific ring tone alerts me to the eldest’s call – ‘are you nearly here?’
Morning mum how are you – just wondering if you’re nearly home? I suggest would be a nicer greeting which is met by grumps. I see the other message on my phone – ‘we need cereal’ by my OH.
I’ve asked everyone to let me know.by a Thursday what shopping they would like …… I even asked yesterday before I went. No I didn’t check the cereal cupboard as I don't eat it and I expect them all to be able to put it on the list. Time to resurrect my Alexa shopping list in the kitchen I think. Problem is nobody actually tells her either!
Why moan, why not just check? – well because I’m busy being more than a mum, storecupboard filler and supplier of toiletries that are even in a different bathroom to mine (yes I am lucky).
The youngest is hugely appreciative of the croissants when they finally rear their heads. They were bought for the anticpated hangover but I assume the gloopy mac and cheese stuck to the pan on the cooker hit that spot.
I’ve already had yogurt, fruit & nuts, a post workout shake (definitely a new test for me as I’ve always been the eat natural advocate but like I say I’m experimenting) and I now tuck into a tuna wrap – God it’s only 11am and all this food – this programme is way different for me. But actually yup my more than likely peri menopausal body is enjoying this. Day 28 of no alcohol, nothing artificial or sugar based.
And now it’s sunny – I retreat to the garden to write – I decided in the shower
(that I had squeezed in amongst all that, plus emptying, loading dishwasher and being told I was on the warpath for requesting, nicely in my mind but apparently it didn’t come out that way, the young adult put bleach down the loo and clean it. Oh and did I mention the laundry that was done, the listening to two work training videos ….)
it’s time to write – to laugh and share strategies for coping with life and keeping our bodies and minds sane through all the rollercoaster moments that come with being a mum (parent), OH, daughter, friend, colleague, neighbour……
For more than 20 years I’ve worked in wellbeing – the 10 prior in events and management – I've blended the last 18 with bringing up a family and hopefully helping them turn into decent human beings worthy of the planet ….. I have a host of ages and stages programmes, guides and tips that I share all the time with my 1:1 clients and hope this could be a way of making that more accessible to others. I’m going to be putting free downloads on my website once I work out how - just joking - part of my philosophy is that I won’t turn into my mother who looks at something new and says I can’t do that and I’ve made my kids promise they will keep me up to date with tech even when I’m 80.
Last night I would normally have opened a bottle of fizz, I didn’t- I focussed on wanting to run this morning in the lovely sunshine that was forecast and wow am I glad I did – there was a horse rider galloping along the beach early hours, a few dog walkers and all smiley happy people. I could have been in bed and missed it all. Again don’t get me wrong sometimes I (we all) need that – but right now in my mindset it’s all about powering up to do new exciting things and having the energy to do so.
Maybe its advance taking control of empty nest syndrome (they will all leave home over the next 2 years) maybe it’s just that natural process of wanting different things as we age – but I love thinking of it as looking to the next stage with excitement, anticipation and yay what do I want to do next …..
I hope you’ll join my adventures and navigating in this blog theme ……
Disclaimer - none of the children were physically or psychologically traumatised! As for mum ....
Best, B :-)